Training, Training, and finding that happy place

In the last 7 days I've biked 15 miles, ran a 5K, surfed for 3 hours, and fit as much gym time in as possible during and after work. The hardest part of all this is finding time to do it, and the motivation to do it. Mentally I have just had little to no desire to train. Getting started is literally forcing myself into the gym or the run or the ride. Once i get moving and get into it though mentally i come around. I wish I could bottle that happy place up and take it as a pill. Especially on the tough days when getting out of bed even makes me angry.  That happy place for me only occurs during 2 events. Ironically one is loud music blaring in my ears and banging the iron in the gym until my body is screaming in pain, the more hurt the better. The other is the opposite end of the spectrum, sitting on a surf board floating in the water under the sun listening to the waves crash. Those are the only two places in which mentally I am at peace and all is right in the world.
    Uncertainty in my future, uncertainty in life each day has just bogged me down, to the point that I am just miserable all the time.   On the flipside my body should show results quicker since some type of physical activity gets me in a good mood lol.  I guess i am just burned out, Literally burned out, school, work and family. I am literally just non stop. Even though I have a shade over 2 years left in the military, every night i lose sleep over what I am going to do. Do I finally punch out of active duty, go int he reserves and hope and pray  my current base accepts me into a civilian slot or do I re-enlist assuring me that I am stuck for 10 more years in uniform with PCS moves, deployments and daycare like coddling. FML.  could it be worse, sure it could be  but right now its what makes me miserable.

      on the flipside even though I have no desire to want to go to the gym, once I am there training goes great lol.  Makes no sense, just like anything else I do ha!

What do you do when life gets in the way?

It was a short time ago that arrived home after deployment in what was possibly the best shape of my life.  Not the strongest or the biggest but overall the best. I had just ran my fastest 1.5 mile PT test since i've been in uniform. I dropped 20lbs, and overall I felt great, looked great, diet was great, and overall everything was great. The life returned and got in the way. Kids, work, school, wife, dog, vet bills dr visits, tdy's, and trips to day care.  Fast forward 3 months and I've ran 2 times, i've become what I have dread, too damn busy for the things I love. I'm rushing through the gym, racing to get the kids out of daycare and home for dinner school housework etc. Life is in the way. Ugh  So now I am trying to adapt and overcome. That is where my latest routine has fit in. More on that in another post. Diet has changed again, supplementation has changed again, and training has changed again. Life just keeps rearing its ugly head.   Today during some downtime I decided to dig around into my future, a future not in the military and I learned a hard shitty fact.  As much as our pay sucks for the job we do, the benefits we get add a lot of value in the equation. Up until this morning I was 150% deadset on punching out in 2 yrs. I just can't stand being in the military anymore. However I realized that in doing so, i am going to lose a lot of money. Isn't that a shocker. Getting out to find a better job is going to cost me. A LOT!  Taxes, medical benefits, are going to take a huge chunk from me. It's brought a lot of doubt now. I cannot even make a lateral move leaving the service. Taking a GS-12 will result in a lower check and there is no way in F&*( I will land that spot out of the military, the best I can pray for as I am told is a GS-11 which is a loss of about 700 bucks a week.  Ouch!    Life again gets in the way of my dreams.  Is there a price on sanity, a price on no longer worrying every day when I show up to work if I am going to get orders to some shithole dirtbox in that god forsaken pace called the middle east.  Or the worry of PCS orders in which we have to pack up and move again.  Is not worrying about that ever again worth 700 a week? Who knows.  Hell at this point I may not even get that spot where I am at now so do I travel into Orlando? We want to stay here, that wont happen in uniform,  remember when things were simple?

I don't.

So my outlet for this Mt Everest level of stress is the gym, a place a rarely have time for anymore.  This is why people lose their mind. Drink and go nuts.  I get it now lol   Enough with the crybaby BS, i'll get into the new training and diet at a later time.

Been a Long long time

I'm not even gonna get into the absence. All I will say is it was eye opening and I met all my fitness goals.  I returned stateside with new goals, new outlooks and new training. I wont get into much detail tonight. But the shift in focus has made training fun again, It had gotten so stale and so painful and had become counter productive.  Now its fun, i look forward to it and wake up each day thinking about the afternoon training session.  Using unorthdoxed methods, Surfing, bike riding, running, kettle bells, chains, and bands.

Diet has changed,  supplements have changed, researched has changed.  Herbs, Fruits, and life extension techniques are on the horizon.  I am focused more on quality of life then lifting 500 lbs.

I am excited for the summer, I am excited for the next steps.

stay tuned.........