On the downward slope, Just about done

     So I have about 2.5 months left of this racket here. The burnout is slowly creeping up, the motivation is falling off hard. Its these moments when you really need to check yourself and stay in the game. Its even harder when you lack the motivation, the support or have a supporting cast around you. I often think back to my younger pre military days when I was in peak shape. How funny does that sound, Peak shape pre mil. I was about 240ish, ripped, stronger then ever and just all around it was one of the few times in my life that I really felt good about myself. I wonder why can't I get that drive or mindset back. Then I realized during one of my super long walks that i take every day to decompress.

       I just don't have the supporting cast that I used to. I'm a family man now, none of my current friends workout, live this lifestyle, nor care too. I figure less then 1% of my face book friends list lives this lifestyle. It's without this supporting cast that the drive and will has disappeared. All my friends used to be gym rats, regardless of their method of accomplishment, they were big, shredded strong and lived the life, we could all hit the gym critique and grow, fill each others ego's or tear them down, it was my golden era I guess.  Now if I were to post a picture with my shirt off documenting my progress, within minutes it would be filled with assholes hating and dropping comments about being gay, egotistical or whatever you can insert at the moment. When in my past a pose in the mirror would be filled with critique, opinions, and support. If I flex in the mirror here i get stared at for being a freak. Why the fuck am I in the gym then if i'm not gonna flex and check my progress? Of course we are talking about military gyms which are at least 70% full of unknowledgeable fat asses looking for uniform violations or folks not wearing socks so that is really fair assessment.  Then of course the one who I am most trying to impress is my wife, who frankly doesn't care what I look like so that's annoying. I would venture to say a compliment from here is the equivalent to winning the lotto and would indicate that I have finally arrived lol.  None the less, im trying to turn the fact that I am almost done into the fuel I need to get through the workouts and diet. Knowing that I am now racing against the clock in a sport that loses the race all the time should in theory provide me the amps I need. Sticking to the diet is the hardest part after 4 months of chicken for breakfast lunch and dinner has ran its course I find myself getting chicken taco's from Taco bell or chicken subs from the subway trailer just to mix it up. I've got enough rants saved up for days but that would only lead to accusations of bitching and complaining by my peers.  One positive is I think I have finally worked past and accepted the fact that I will never have the massive strength or size that I once had and have embraced the leaner sliced look. My infatuation with how much weight I can lift has been replaced with how many veins can I get to pop in new locations, or how much I can finally feel my abs through my shirt. Narcissistic?  sure why not I have earned. Now if I can just earn the coveted compliment from the hardest person on earth to impress.... My wife  all would be well :D